I woke up feeling a bit at peace. Missing my little one, but peace. Everyone at the hospital was so extremely nice to me and I felt genuine sorrow when they told me they were sorry for our loss. In fact, one of my surgical nurses suffered a loss herself and she handled me with compassion and kindness.
My doctor is also amazing. I absolutely love him. I recently switched to this practice a year before we started trying to conceive. I am so glad to have found him. There is a lot to be said for bedside manner and he has it. He made all of us (mom came too) so comfortable, relaxed and prepared for the procedure. He also wanted me to understand that this is not my fault and there is nothing more i could have done. I am trying to accept it but it's very hard. The procedure itself went fine. I am cramping and bleeding a bit but not as bad as I thought it would be.
At this point, I am still in mourning for our baby but emotionally, I am doing OK. The doc told us that we can start trying after one cycle and we'll see where we go with that. Right now, I want to get back to living my life and getting off this couch. I have spent way too much time on it over the last month. Steve and I decided to plan a vacation for late March. I am extremely excited for this. We both need to get away, re-focus and spend some time with each other. Maybe we will take our dream trip and go to Hawaii. We'll see.
I want to thank everyone for their support but most of all, my husband. He is amazing. I also have a wonderful support system in my mom and dad, sister, mother and father in law and a few special friends. I couldn't ask for more supportive people to be around me right now. We will be OK with time. It sucks beyond all hell but we will be OK.
Thank you all for everything!
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