The Big Picture: At My Wits End

Thursday, February 5, 2009

At My Wits End

I know I am over-reacting but I honeslty feel like I am at my wits end with this pregnancy. God, I really want my baby to survive and thrive but I seriously don't know anymore. I have spent the week on the couch with my feet up and I am STILL spotting. I seriously dont even know what to do anymore except for cry. I have got yet another call into the OB and I am waiting for her to call me back but seriously, what is she going to be able to do? Nothing. I just want someone to tell me that my baby will survive and then I will be able to endure anything. Right now though, I feel like I am just delaying the inevitable and I feel awful.

I know crying and being upset isnt helping anything but I just cant help it. Not to mention, I still dont feel good. This is definitely not how I envisioned my pregnancy going.

I really miss Steve right now. I wish he was home with me but he needed to work. I just feel so helpless right now. I just keep praying the spotting will end and I can start enjoying pregnancy again. One hour at a time...

4 comments:

KarisFebruary 5, 2009 at 1:49 PM
I'm sorry you are going through all of this. I am praying for you!
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CourtneyFebruary 5, 2009 at 4:53 PM
I'm here if you need anything! You're strong and you can make it through this!! I'm praying for you every day. Feel better!
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KerriFebruary 5, 2009 at 5:40 PM
I'm sorry this is so hard for you! It's suppose to be a happy joyous time! Let me know if you need anything.
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SarahFebruary 8, 2009 at 3:09 PM
Oh sweetie, this isn't fair for you! I hope things calm down soon and you can catch a freaking break.

Sniff
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My 101 List in 1001 Days

1. Lose 50 pounds.
2. Read from my bible weekly.
3. Read 1 book per month.
4. PRIVATE
5. Practice shooting with my camera at the minimum 3-4 hours a week.
6. Try 10 new recipes (including crockpot recipes).
7. Plan date night with Steve 4 times per year.
8. Get massage/pedicure once every three months.
9. Travel to Mediterranean (Italy, Malta, Greece).
10. travel to the East Coast, U.S.
11. Try one new restaurant every two months.
12. Obtain photography certificate.
13. Get Lasik surgery.
14. Spend a minimum of one day per month doing fun stuff with mom/aunt/sister.
15. Learn 5 recipes from mom/aunt.
16. Pray each night with Steven before bed.
17. Walk 10,000 steps per day 5 days a week.
18. Learn to knit.
19. See one movie in a theatre per month.
20. Have a meal with Steven where no TV or any other electronic device is involved.
21. Increase donation to church.
22. Take a yoga class.
23. Make a list of why I love Steven and give it to him. Done.
24. Take dinner to my grandma at least twice a month
25. Go to the U.S. Open tennis tournament with my sister.
26. Buy a plant and keep it alive.
27. Mail cards out for birthdays/anniversaries.
28. Clean out the walk-in closet.
29. Clean out the basement.
30. Buy a house.
31. Learn how to make a pot roast from my mom. DONE!
32. Go to a NASCAR race with Steven.
33. Over-tip at a restaurant when I get good service.
34. Attend at least 1 Wednesday night church service per month.
35. Drink 64 oz. of water a day.
36. No soda for a week.
37. Eat at least two fruits/veggies per day.
38. Pay down HELOC by 20%.
39. Make an appointment with a financial advisor about retirement.
40. Increase savings by 10%.
41. Say at least one nice thing about someone daily.
42. Take the dog on walks as often as possible.
43. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes twice a week and reflect/pray.
44. Keep in better contact with friends.
45. Paint our bedroom.
46. Buy the shams that match our comforter.
47. Take a road trip with Steven with no set plans.
48. Buy a good pair of walking shoes.
49. List 25 things I like about myself.
50. Find an activity to donate my time through church.
51. Keep my desk at work de-cluttered for one month.
52. Create a spreadsheet that better outlines our expenses on a monthly basis.
53. Identify the item that we spend the most on a monthly basis and reduce it by 10%.
54. Put away clothes every night for 3 months/reduce clothing clutter in our bedroom.
55. Watch 30 of the top 250 movies on IMDB.
56. Take a multi-vitamin everyday for 30 days.
57. Take fish oil everyday for 30 days.
58. Pay for the Starbucks order of the person behind me in the drive-thru.
59. Learn to speak Italian.
60. Attend a wine tasting.
61. Frame and hang a picture that I took in our house.
62. Hand make my Christmas cards for 2009.
63. Make and take my lunch and Steven's lunch at least 3 times per week.
64. Send a "just-because" gift to someone in my family.
65. Meet for dinner with in-laws at least once monthly.
66. Don't eat chocolate for one week.
67. Finish the Harry Potter book series.
68. Finish the Left Behind book series.
69. Plan a surprise trip to one of Steven's favorite destinations.
70. Complete Dave Ramsay's Financial Peace University.
71. Buy a new pair of boots (why do I keep putting this off?)
72. Donate 3 bags of clothing.
73. Begin my day with prayer everyday for at least one week.
74. Visit two states that we have not yet seen.
75. Turn around 5 albums in one week or less.
76. Complete the Love Dare.
77. Read the 5 Love Languages.
78. Learn a new word each week and blog about it.
79. Learn how to cook a turkey.
80. Keep track of food/caloric intake on an onlite site such as Sparkpeople for two months.
81. Start a family.
82. Organize and shred all unnecessary items in filing cabinet.
83. Send someone flowers.
84. Take a family picture once a month.
85. Take a trip to the wineries in western upper Michigan.
86. Start a Roth IRA.
87. Clean out the fridge and food cabinent once every two months.
88. Go to a musical/play.
89. Pul credit report from all three credit bureaus once per year.
90. Get Sonny's teeth cleaned professionally.
91. Go to the zoo.
92. Get my wedding dress cleaned and stored.
93. Buy and use reusable bags to use at the grocery store.
94. Use my Wii Fit at least 3 times per week for 3 months.
95. Watch all three Godfather films in one day.
96. Learn how to bake a peach pie.
97. Make a birthday/anniversary calendar.
98. Be in bed by 10:30 during the week.
99. Learn how to make pastizzi dough from mom/aunt/grandma.
100. Learn how to use Photoshop more effectively.
101. Start a new list after this 101 is completed.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

At My Wits End

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My 101 List in 1001 Days